Zzzzzzz

You ever talk to a less cultured sports fan and have him or her tell you that baseball is boring?  "Durr....NFL...durrr," is generally the response you get from the slack-jawed idiot staring back at you.  Well hopefully no one was trying to bring a new fan into the light yesterday afternoon when the potentially spectacular matchup between Johan Santana and Stephen Strasburg turned into a snooze fest.  I became so bored listening to the game at work I found myself caring about the New Orleans Saints coaching situation!  The game featured a combined 14 walks and 25 strikeouts and saw the Nationals score three of their four runs without ever putting the ball in play.  Johan got the ball rolling (literally) by throwing a wild pitch to score the first run.  Bases loaded walks in the 7th and 9th innings surrounded a RBI ground out in the 8th wrapping up a day that saw exactly zero run-scoring hits.

Player of the game: I am tempted to give it to Johan Santana despite allowing 13 base runners in 5 innings, but I will instead give the nod to Jon Rauch who seemingly miraculously managed to face two batters without walking either of him.  Yes, that does make him the only pitcher of the six (!) who got in the game for the Mets to not issue at least one base on balls.

Key moment: The Mets got runners on second and third with one out in the bottom of the first inning only to leave them stranded.  It was the last time a Mets base runner got to chat with Timmy Teufel at the third base bag.

Silver lining: It was the second start for Johan that featured him leaving the game without grabbing his left shoulder in agony, likely causing sports books across the globe to lose millions.

Inevitable downside: Despite showing signs of early season improvement behind the plate, Josh Thole waved at a Johan Santana wild pitch and was later charged with a passed ball leading to speculation that his defensive deficiencies are not yet a thing of the past.

Next up: The Mets have an off day on Thursday before heading to Philly Friday night to likely get swept by the Phils.

It was fun while it lasted

The dream of the undefeated season came crashing to earth last night at the hands of the mighty Washington Nationals.  Perhaps it was too much to expect the Mets to continue their early season dominance, especially against a team picked by most pundits to finish fourth in the National League East.  The real story of the game was the who's who of Mets playing the field, as in "The Mets have who playing where?"  I played the fun game of "name three Mets in the starting lineup tonight" in the locker room after a hockey game last night.  Between five people and eight guesses, they got three players.  The actual starting lineup is below:

     SS Ruben Tejada
     3B Ronnie Cedeno
     2B Daniel Murphy
     LF Jason Bay (no, really!)
     RF Lucas Duda (DOOOOOOD!!!)
     1B Justin Turner
     CF Scott Hairston
     C Mike Nickeas
     P Dillon Gee

When your cleanup hitter has been compared (well, by me) to an end-of-his-career Luis Castillo, you are probably in for a long night.  Predictably the make-shift lineup made Nationals starter Ross Detwiler look like an in-his-prime Johan Santana.  Meanwhile Dillon Gee and the Mets bullpen were undone by a solid combination of poor pitching and terrible defense.

Player of the game: Ronnie Cedeno who has a career .286 on base percentage (note: really, really bad) had a 3-for-4 day at the plate filling in for the injured David Wright.

Key moment: Danny Murphy booted a sure double play ball with one out in the top of the 6th leading to two additional runs for the Nationals.

Silver lining: After a rough first inning Gee actually looked pretty competent until he ran out of gas in the 6th.

Inevitable downside: News came during the game that x-rays showed a fracture in David Wright's jammed pinkie which will keep the slugger out of the lineup until he can hold a bat again.  Given the historic troubles of the Mets' training staff in seasons past, expect a botched amputation leading to the accidental death of the face of the franchise in the coming weeks.  On the bright side, they will probably give him some great tits for the funeral.

Next up: An intriguing afternoon match-up of once and future aces headlines the slate of games today as Johan Santana toes the mound for his second start against flame-thrower Stephen Strasburg.

Sweep!

In what is sure to be the high point of the year, the Mets swept the Braves in their opening series.  New closer Frank Francisco saved all three games of the series, becoming the first Mets closer in history to do that.  Of course, that's probably because despite their gaudy record on opening day (best of all time baby!) the Mets will rarely sweep any team at any point in the season.  Today the Mets spotted Jon Niese, newly signed to a 5 year extension, a 7 run lead that he tried his damnedest to give away.  Niese took a no hitter into the 7th inning before running out of gas and turning a laugher into a nail-biter.

Player of the game: Well it was looking like Niese for 6 innings until he ran out of gas.  I will give the nod to Ruben Tejada whose four hit game paced the 11 hit attack from the leadoff spot.

Key moment: Tejada doubles with 2 outs in the bottom of the 6th inning to drive in two runs for what turned out to be the deciding margin.

Silver lining: I get to break out the "Sweep" tag for what will likely be the last time during the life of this blog.

Inevitable downside: Twice in the later innings Mets fielders collided while chasing down fly balls.  Let us work on our communication out there boys!

Next up: The Nationals come in to challenge the Mets for week 1 supremacy in the National League East.

Two in a row!

Am I too excited about a 2 - 0 start to the season?  You bet!  Do I expect the Mets to win two games in a row at any point in the remainder of the season?  Fuck no!  Was it a lazy Saturday afternoon that was a little too windy to sit outside and get drunk with no pants on?  You bet!  Did I keep a running diary of the game while sucking down delicious Lost Sailor IPA?  Natch.

1:11 – One batter into the game and we have our first Jason Bay fuckup of the day as a catchable ball gets over his head in left field for a double.

1:14 – And one out later a passed ball from presumptive staff ace RA Dickey turns into an out at home plate.  Next pitch sees the inning end as Bay catches a pop up.  We will forgive  you this time Mr. Bay!

1:15 – Ooo, Blackhawks versus Red Wings and Chicago has a power play!

1:17 – Detroit kills off a 4 minute penalty.  Fuck them.  Go Mets!  Ruben Tejada leading off because Torres went to the DL.

1:20 – Danny Murphy strides to the plate to the dulcet sounds of the Dropkick Murphys.  I understand the symbolism but do we really want to ship him up to Boston?

1:24 – Murphy flies out to left.  Too bad that was not Bay out there, it would have been over his head.

1:25 – Wright visits the new shorter fences in right center field for his first home run of the year!  Gary Cohen will tell you that the new dimensions did not factor into the ball clearing the fences, but I disagree.  Obviously Wright would have struck out on that ball if the field had not changed.  I do not care that the count was 2 and 1.

1:27 – Ike Davis pops out to left field.  Too bad Bay was not out there, it would have fallen in for a bloop single.

1:40 – Dickey works around a 2 out walk to escape the second inning.  I am currently regretting my pre-game scotch as it is probably not a good idea to double up with a  beer.  Oh hey, the Blackhawks are winning!  Fuck the Red Wings!  1-0 Blackhawks after the first period.

1:44 – Bay leads off with a fly out to center after taking strike 3.  The ump called it a ball.  Considering the Mets have a knuckle baller on the mound tonight, they are going to want those borderline pitches called strikes.  It is not like Bay can hit anyway.

1:46 – Duda takes strike 3 on the same pitch Bay took for a ball.  At least the umpire is maddeningly inconsistent!

1:47 – Thole doubles off of the left field wall.  Great replay of Michael Bourn flinching from the wall in super slow motion.  “Holy shit when did that get here?”

1:49 – Kirk Niewenhius strikes out on 3 pitches.  Welcome to the big leagues!

1:50 – Dammit, the hockey game is at intermission.  Ooo…Die Hard!  Ah!  Commercial! Fuck it, I’m getting a beer.

1:55 – 2 quick outs before Michael Bourn dumps a fly ball in front of Bay.  I know I seem hard on Bay but it is because he is terrible.

1:56 – Dickey gets the strike out to get out of the third.  As long as they keep Bay from getting involved, things are going well!

1:59 – Big dramatic moment between Bruce Willis and Justin Long.  The writer might have overstepped his actors’ abilities on that one.

2:02 – Michael Bourn is allegedly a good fielding center fielder but having spent most of his career in Houston with a retractable roof he is apparently unfamiliar with the sun.  No miscues yet but he seems destined to doink one off his noggin.

2:05 – Wright rips a single to left field following a Murphy walk.  It is fun to watch a locked in David take rips at the ball.

2:07 – Ooo, the first Eric Davis reference of the season.  I am now in baseball mode.  Er, until I flip back to the hockey game.

2:08 – Oops!  Ike watches one float over the heart of the plate for a called strike 3.  I would be mad at him but he knows.  He knows.

2:09 – Commercials on all three stations!  Take a drink.

2:11 – Chicago is playing the rare full strength penalty kill defense.  Hey guys, pick up a man, will you?  Ooo, Murphy snares a soft liner playing shallow right field in the shift.

2:12 – Uggla immediately pops out to Bay in left eliciting a groan from Keith Hernandez.  He was seemingly upset that Uggla missed a fat fastball and not that there was a 50/50 chance for a hit when the ball goes in Bay’s direction.

2:13 – Dickey throws a 1-2 fastball down the heart of the plate for ball 2.  Nice job ump.  Infield hit on the next pitch.  So far the home plate ump is calling this game like Jason Bay plays left field.

2:15 – Thole’s second passed ball of the game and first that does not result in an out.  Tough call on the catcher as that ball moved about a foot to the inside.  Dickey walks Heyward to put runners on first and second.

2:17 – Line drive to center right at Nieuwenhius who plays it like a pro.  Toughest ball for an outfielder is the one hit right at him.  Bay would have played it into a triple.

2:18 – And the hockey game goes to commercial with a penalty upcoming to Chicago for delay of game.  Duncan Keith skated straight into the net to knock it off its moorings then complained about the call.  “Hey stripes do you know how much pizza I ate at intermission?  You try stopping or changing direction with an extra 3 pounds of mozzarella in your stomach!”  Note, that might not be what he said.

2:20 – Bay pops out to the catcher and the crowd boos.  Come on guys, that might be his best at bat of the year!

2:21 – BOOM! Lucas Duda (DOOOOOOOOD!) lines one over the new right-center field wall.  That would have been a one-hop double last year.

2:22 – You get free Axe anarchy body spray from any Duane Reade location whenever the Mets hit 2 home runs in a game.  I think the only word I understood in that phrase was “Axe” which I am assuming they will not use to cut down a tree.

2:24 – Nieuwenhius gets an infield single for his first major league hit, burying the secondary lead of Nieuwenhius taking the first ball of his career.  Dickey follows up with a dribbler past the shortstop to put runners on first and second with two outs.  Yes, he still hit it much harder than his center fielder.

2:28 – Turns out Nieuwenhius was out at first base in a bang/bang play.  Thank goodness Bud Selig does not believe in replay or the Braves might be in the dugout already.

2:30 – Tejada works a walk to load the bases for Danny Murphy.  Murph goes with Linkin Park this time as his at bat music.  I guess we are not sending him to Boston yet!

2:32 – Murph loops one into shallow left field to end the inning.  Too bad it was not Bay…ah fuck it.

2:32 – Second period ends with the Blackhawks up 2-0.  Ooo..Die Hard!

2:37 – Missed an out to watch John McLane look stoically pissed.  I have no regrets.

2:38 – Fuck the Red Wings! Almost forgot.  Two outs.

2:42 – Braves tie the game with a  2 out walk and a 2 run homer to left.  I am trying to figure out a way to blame that one on Bay.

2:55 – Stepped out to make a salad.  Health first people!  Jason Bay singled following an Ike Davis walk to chase the Braves’ starter.  There is no truth to the rumor that he was pulled with the line “You let THAT fucking guy get a hit?”

2:59 – Josh Thole singles to right with two outs to drive in the go ahead run!

3:01 – Kirk Nieuwenhius ties a career high by seeing one whole ball called before grounding into a fielder’s choice to end the inning.  Solid future ahead for this kid.

3:03 – Johan Franzen takes a bad angle wrister to beat the Chicago goalie to bring the Red Wings  within one.  Fuck the Red Wings.

3:05 – Dickey follows a lead off walk with a  1-6-3 double play.

3:08 – Thole needs a timeout after strike one.  Ron Darling speculates he might have swallowed his chew.  YUM!  Jason Heyward triples to left field past a diving Jason Bay on the next pitch.  Bay probably should have played that on a hop to keep Heyward to a double.  You cannot fault the effort, unless it is Jason Bay.  Fuck that guy.

3:09 – Dickey gets Francisco to line out to Ike Davis at first base to end the inning.  Still 2-1 Black Hawks.

3:12 – Mike Baxter pinch hits for RA Dickey ending the day for the presumptive staff ace.  Personally I would have left Dickey in to bat for himself since he is probably a better hitter than Mike Baxter who pops out to the short stop.

3:14 – Ruben Tejada lines out to the pitcher who makes a nice play to snag it down near his knees.  Despite the out you like to see the young short stop hitting line drives up the middle.

3:15 – Murphy lines a laser off the base of the new right field wall for a single.  Murph showed some maturity on that one as in years past he would have tried to stretch that into a double and get thrown out by 30 feet.

3:17 – Wright follows up with a single of his own continuing his hot start to the season.  Livan Hernandez starts Ike Davis out with a slow curve that lulled catcher Brian McCann to sleep before it reached home plate.  The ensuing passed ball moved the runners up to second and third.

3:21 – Ike Davis strikes out looking and whines about the call.  I hope he was screaming at himself because that ball sure looked like it was right over the outside corner, certainly too close to take with two strikes.

3:23 – The Red Wings score with 46.4 seconds to go in the third period and their goalie pulled to tie the game at 2.  If this game goes to overtime it drops the Black Hawks from the 5 seed to the 6 seed in the playoffs.  On the other hand, it might be easier playing the 95 point Phoenix Coyotes in round one of the playoffs than the 102 point Nashville Predators.  The Coyotes would get the 3 seed on the strength of winning the weaker Pacific division.

3:29 – Bobby Parnell retires the Braves in order in his first appearance of the season.  An effective Parnell coming out of the bullpen would be a boon for the team this season.

3:34 – Overtime ends with the score tied at 2 and we all know no one leaves for a shootout.  Except for me.  I flip back to the Mets game just in time to see Duda’s second home run of the day.  4-2 Mets.  DOOOOOOOOD!!!!

3:35 – Thole grounds out weakly to second base but manages to not swallow his chew so we will call that a wash.

3:36 – Nieuwenhius’s second career single is a sharply hit line drive to right that will probably be less memorable than his dribbler to short a few innings earlier.

3:38 – Justin Turner’s first hit of the season comes on a sharply hit ground ball deep in the hole behind third base that Juan Francisco could not make a play on.

3:39 – Ruben Tejada pops out to the short stop to end the inning.  That was actually reminiscent of the Mets' former star short stop who also liked to pretend he was a home run hitter.

3:47 – Jon Rauch works an uneventful 8^th inning, retiring the Braves’ 2, 3, and 4 hitters in succession for the second time in three days.

3:50 – Danny Murphy grounds out to second for the first out of the 8^th inning.  Even when it is routine for Uggla at second base it is an adventure.

3:51 – Wright lines out to third base for the second out.  Francisco makes a lunging grab on that one to save a double.  Nice day at the plate for McDreamy.

3:52 – Davis flies out to right field then whines to the umpire that it should have been called a ball.

3:55 – Frank Francisco gives up his first hit of the season, a well-struck single to right by Freddie Freeman.  Giddyup!

3:58 – Francisco follows it up by striking out Heyward to bring up Juan Francisco with a runner on first.  I wonder how many Francisco versus Francisco at bats there have been before this one?

4:00 – Francisco wins that battle by getting Francisco to pop out to Wright in foul territory who makes a nice play on the ball in the swirling wind.

4:01 – Eric HInske singles to left on the first pitch he sees.  Bay competently plays the ball back in to keep runners at first and second.

4:03 – Keith Hernandez grunts every time there’s a fastball down the heart of the plate.  I think he wishes he was still playing when he sees those meatballs.  Matt Diaz popped that ball into foul territory for strike one.

4:05 – He struck him out!  It was not the clean inning from Thursday afternoon but it got the job done and ended the game.  2-0 baby!

 In rereading the diary it seems like the beer started mixing nicely with the scotch sometime around 3 PM.  Offensively the team looked much more comfortable at the plate than two days ago, but it should go without saying that the offense will click whenever Wright and Duda (DOOOOOOD!!!) are smashing line drives all over the park.

Player of the game: Lucas Duda (DOOOOOD!!!!) whose two solo homers provided the difference in the game.

Key moment: Thole tracking down his first passed ball with one out and a runner on third in the top of first inning to gun down Michael Bourn at the plate.  It kept the game scoreless and allowed presumptive staff ace RA Dickey to settle into the game.

Silver lining: The two game winning streak may well be the high point of the year.

Inevitable downside: Jason Bay looks terrible in the field and at the plate.

Next up: The final game of the opening series will be tomorrow afternoon at Citi Field and I can even watch on SNY while DirecTV and Fox snipe at each other and block the games out.

Season's over!

Call it now, there is no point in playing out the string, your (well, my) New York Mets are going to the World Series!  In what one can reasonably extrapolate over the last 161 games of the season, the Mets dominated the Atlanta Braves yesterday afternoon by the score of 1-0.  Johan Santana turned back the clock to Spring 2012 by spinning 5 masterful innings of shutout baseball.  Well, 4 masterful innings and one inning where he may or may not have walked the #8 hitter and the pitcher in succession to load the bases.  Details on that front are a little fuzzy.  David McDreamy Wright delivered the game's only run with a sixth inning single and the new look bullpen took the game home.  Predictably the Braves begged the schedule makers for an extra day off to regroup and try to figure out how to contend with the New York juggernaut.  The game was not without its low moments, when projected All Star center fielder Andres Torres re-aggravated his strained calf muscle and will likely end up on the DL.

Player of the game: Johan Santana who for four innings at least, looked like he was in complete command of the Braves' lineup.

Key moment: Tim Byrdak strikes out Jose Constanza and Michael Bourn back-to-back with the tying runner on third in the top of the 7th.

Silver lining: None needed, they actually fucking won!

Inevitable downside: Losing Torres to the calf injury.

Next up: Game two of the series will be Saturday afternoon when presumptive staff ace RA Dickey makes his first start of the season.

Hope springs eternal

Every spring baseball starts anew with the theory that any team could contend for the World Series if just a few things break in their favor. It is kind of like every time I think I am going to make a go of actually maintaining a blog with some sort of regularity. Such naivety is fun in the cool northeast when we can forget that summer is too fucking hot and the Met will be eliminated from contention by Memorial Day. Ah well. On the eve of Johan Santana's first pitch in a major league baseball game that counts since September 2010, I present the keys to a successful 2012 campaign for your (well, my) New York Mets!

The Mets have question marks at numbers one, three, four, and five in their starting rotation. Fuck Yeah R.A. Dickey! They have questions at catcher where one can't hit and the other can't field. First base is a question mark as Ike Davis is coming back from a major ankle injury that knocked him out of the last five months of 2011. Second base is being manned by Daniel Murphy, arguably their best hitter, and also the guy who has seen his season end prematurely the past two years because he can't play fucking second base. Shortstop is a rare bright spot in the lineup where superstar Jose Reyes is sure to excite the crowd with his jaw-dropping talent. Haha, just kidding, the Mets declined to sign their best home grown prospect in two decades and instead turned to Ruben Tejada who has never shown any particular defensive excellence at shortstop, but at least has the chance to hit at slightly below average for his position! Third base is once again the land of David Wright, the other half of the dynamic duo that would carry the Mets to the promised land. Wright is coming off of his worst statistical season ever, although to be fair he played for much of the season with a broken back. In left field stands Jason Bay, which is nice because the only way he will get worse is if he actually starts laying down on the job. Center field will be manned by Andres Torres, at least until the team realizes that his fluky 2010 season was a fluke in this age of stricter steroid testing that prevents players from dramatically improving in their mid 30s. Right field is a source of optimism for the team where they hope the shortened fences will prevent the lumbering Lucas Duda from embarrassing himself out there to keep his potentially prodigious power in the lineup.

If you are scoring at home, that is question marks in four of the five spots in the rotation, catcher, first base, second base, shortstop, third base, left field, center field, and right field, as well as all throughout the bullpen. To top it off, they are playing in arguably the toughest division in the National League. Put it all together and, well, I believe Family Guy said it best.