Hope springs eternal

Every spring baseball starts anew with the theory that any team could contend for the World Series if just a few things break in their favor. It is kind of like every time I think I am going to make a go of actually maintaining a blog with some sort of regularity. Such naivety is fun in the cool northeast when we can forget that summer is too fucking hot and the Met will be eliminated from contention by Memorial Day. Ah well. On the eve of Johan Santana's first pitch in a major league baseball game that counts since September 2010, I present the keys to a successful 2012 campaign for your (well, my) New York Mets!

The Mets have question marks at numbers one, three, four, and five in their starting rotation. Fuck Yeah R.A. Dickey! They have questions at catcher where one can't hit and the other can't field. First base is a question mark as Ike Davis is coming back from a major ankle injury that knocked him out of the last five months of 2011. Second base is being manned by Daniel Murphy, arguably their best hitter, and also the guy who has seen his season end prematurely the past two years because he can't play fucking second base. Shortstop is a rare bright spot in the lineup where superstar Jose Reyes is sure to excite the crowd with his jaw-dropping talent. Haha, just kidding, the Mets declined to sign their best home grown prospect in two decades and instead turned to Ruben Tejada who has never shown any particular defensive excellence at shortstop, but at least has the chance to hit at slightly below average for his position! Third base is once again the land of David Wright, the other half of the dynamic duo that would carry the Mets to the promised land. Wright is coming off of his worst statistical season ever, although to be fair he played for much of the season with a broken back. In left field stands Jason Bay, which is nice because the only way he will get worse is if he actually starts laying down on the job. Center field will be manned by Andres Torres, at least until the team realizes that his fluky 2010 season was a fluke in this age of stricter steroid testing that prevents players from dramatically improving in their mid 30s. Right field is a source of optimism for the team where they hope the shortened fences will prevent the lumbering Lucas Duda from embarrassing himself out there to keep his potentially prodigious power in the lineup.

If you are scoring at home, that is question marks in four of the five spots in the rotation, catcher, first base, second base, shortstop, third base, left field, center field, and right field, as well as all throughout the bullpen. To top it off, they are playing in arguably the toughest division in the National League. Put it all together and, well, I believe Family Guy said it best.